My Midnight Musings

I know that nearly all of you check in for pics of the kiddos and I'm just the measly photographer/narrator, but tonight I can't sleep. It hits me every now and again when Daryl is away. He knows I get like this and will actually question as to whether or not I'm physically lying down in bed when we hang up the phone!

It is Monday. 9 weeks. Every Monday I spend alot of the day rejoicing and crying tears of gratitude that our LORD spared Daryl's life.

It never ceases. And I pray that it never does.

My life would be so very different had events of that day gone the slightest bit differently. And I won't even go into what my kids lives would be like. Talk about a humbling thought. They have a hard enough time (like their Momma) with Daddy rumbling out of the driveway early Monday morning and not returning until Saturday afternoon. Our home erupts with so much rejoicing when his diesel rolls in! There is nothing like it!! Sophia is the one who goes the craziest. And watching her absorb her Daddy as he scoops her up brings me to tears every time.

Had things gone differently, Sophia would not have a memory of her Daddy.

Instead she shrills, runs in circles, then waits for the door to open before she really lets loose! And once Daddy picks her up there's no putting her down. For any reason. Period.

Its funny because when I think of my husband, I often think of a story I received over email a long time ago. The story tells of a man entering Heaven upon his death and Jesus greets him. Jesus wants to give the man a tour of the home He's prepared for him. The man is overwhelmed by all the blessings, the gifts and beauty in every room--all becoming more elaborate and impressive as the tour continues. But throughout the tour there is one door Jesus keeps passing. The man finally can't take it any longer and questions Jesus as to why He doesn't show him what is behind that door. Jesus informs the man that He is unable to show him that room. The man becomes really confused and presses the issue. Jesus sadly informs him that behind that door lies all the blessings the man would have received--all the things that the LORD desired to give him--if he had only obeyed. All the things he missed out on because of his own stubbornness.

I relay that story only for the reason I often think of what would possibly lie behind that door for me because I feel that the LORD gave me the most amazing, undeserved blessing when He gave me Daryl. In all sincerity. My life has been so richly blessed--my faith strengthened--because of my husband. He has taught me more about giving and receiving love and forgiveness, seeking wisdom, earning trust, honesty, conviction, laughter, holiness, humanness, falling short and getting up to try again, grace, growth, and seeing people as God sees them than any other I have known in my life. And I tell him this every day. Honestly. I think as any wife should about her husband--he ROCKS! And I'm humbled that God would pour out such a rich blessing upon me. A sinner. So undeserving, yet so very, eternally grateful.

9 weeks.

I have found the freedom--and blessing--in obedience.

And I thank the LORD He chose to teach me from the blessing that, in my mind, could only have come from behind that door.