Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Poster-man


My husband could easily be the next poster-man for Alopecia. Besides the fact that he's extremely handsome, he has handled this disease with relative ease. It has not always been easy for him, but he takes it all in stride. He has stated many times that he is thankful that he has this condition and not me, as it would be much more difficult for a girl/woman to deal with than a man. We're both also much more thankful that he merely has no hair instead of fighting some other awful disease.

Alopecia, as far as we know and have researched, has no affect on vital organs or senses. His body's immune system views hair follicles and nails as a foreign invader and attacks them causing weakness in the hair shaft and nail bed/cuticle. And if the hair does grow (which has happened from time to time in patches) it falls out within a few days. Daryl's nails are weak, full of pits, and split/break very easily, often deep down into his nailbed.

We attended a church play in a nearby town on Monday night. After it was over we were visiting with quite a few of the members and others we know. Suddenly we heard a voice from behind us say, "Excuse me, but do have alopecia?" Being that almost no one ever knows about alopecia, I was surprised. People usually assume Daryl is ill with cancer/undergoing some type of chemo or radiation treatment. Nonetheless, there stood two beautiful young ladies, one with gorgeous, thick red hair that I had earlier admired as she took her seat for the play. She proceeded to tell us that she, too, has alopecia and has had it since she was two. She shared how she has learned to use makeup to disguise her lack of eyebrows/eyelashes and she has a few wigs from Locks of Love. She and Daryl had a lengthly conversation comparing notes, symptoms, family history, etc. At one point she removed her hairpiece to reveal her beautifully bald head.

Daryl and I have prayed that this disease would not affect our children, particularly our girls. I cannot even imagine what it would be like for this young lady growing up with no hair, no eyelashes, no eyebrows, etc. and trying to explain to people, especially ones her own age, what was going on. Kids can be so cruel. My heart and admiration go out to her parents. I know what its been like for Daryl and me! And we've only been walking this road for seven years. And while I've previously stated that its been relatively easy for Daryl, there have been many times he has said he wished his hair would grow back. If for no other reason than the practical--hair shields your head from the sun, eyebrows and eyelashes help also to shield the sun and keep things like sweat and dirt out of your eyes. Never thought about it, did you? Neither had I until he no longer had them and I was washing his eyes out with saline to remove sand, paint, dirt, etc. from the jobsite. And there has been/still are many times when he returns home with bloodshot eyes from his own sweat burning them while he worked.

All that said, it was nice to talk with someone else who understands. It was also a joy to meet someone so outgoing and friendly considering she's seen and heard her fair share of stares, ridicule, and rudeness. It was good for my "Momma's heart" that if alopecia strikes one of our girls, particularly, there is help and hope. There's still so much that is unknown about alopecia, but now I have more areas and sites in which to research thanks to this one beautiful young lady seeking out a fellow alopecian in my husband...and a real handsome one at that =)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mandy,
Thanks for sharing this very
interesting story from your heart! When I am with Daryl, I do not think about his alopecia. I guess when you have worked with those who have lost their hair from cancer treatment, you become more accustomed to it. He has been without hair for so long now that I have to stretch my mind to remember his beautiful curls and long eyelashes! Isn't it amazing how real beauty eminates from the heart though? Daryl is such a good looking young man, but more than that, he is a person of integrity and character, so loving and kind. I am happy to call him my nephew, and I am glad that he married you:)!
Aunt Ruth

Mandy said...

Aunt Ruth,
Thank you for your sincere words--I started my day out with a good cry! You are right--I have learned in a whole new light the meaning of beauty. Yes, Daryl has always been "easy on the eyes" =) but it has always been his heart that captured me...and still does. I say with all humbleness and gratitude that he is THE greatest blessing God has given me. I thank Jesus every day many times for him! And I'm eternally grateful for the family from whom he came! You have been such a blessing to me over these past 8 years. I'm SO SO SO thankful that our kids have a strong Christian heritage and need look no further than right around them for examples. Excited to see you all in about a week!
love, mandy.